My liver just broke up with me...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
