If i come over, it means nothing
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
