I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
