meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
