New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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