dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
