You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
