So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
