i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
