i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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