I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize