why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
