turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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