Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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