I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
