i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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