I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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