dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
