i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
