Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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