life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize