dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
