god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
