I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
