Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
