Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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