Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
