are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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