Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
