I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
