these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
