Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
