im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
