In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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