Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
