If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize