What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
