Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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