i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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