What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
