so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
