I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
