she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
