He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize