I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
