I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
