Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
