if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm passing your future prison.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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