I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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