don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So much Jack, so little girl.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
