I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
