he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize