I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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