I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
