so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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