i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
