Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
barbara walters just said penis...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
