I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
