i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I see more hoeing in ur future
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