susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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