good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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