why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
