I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
